Don't forget to sign up to be on our mailing list. Click Subscribe!
By Doggie 🐶 – Cone Collector, Certified Scoopologist
Friends, brace yourselves for a chilling revelation: not everything that looks like ice cream… is ice cream.
Ice cream is joy. It’s scooped with flourish, it melts too fast, and it always ends up on your nose no matter how careful you are.
Ice cream has flavors with personality—cookies and cream, rocky road, mint chip. Ice cream is childhood, celebration, and brain freeze rolled into one.
Now, “frozen dessert” is what shows up when you’re expecting ice cream, but someone swapped the carton.
Frozen dessert sounds suspiciously vague. It could be anything—soy-based, almond-based, mysterious-laboratory-based. It’s like ice cream’s undercover cousin who didn’t get invited to the birthday party but shows up anyway.
And when you say it out loud? “Would you like some frozen dessert?” The answer is always: “…why didn’t you just say ice cream?”
Pandy, spoon in paw, gently explained:
“Doggie, frozen dessert is still sweet and cold. It just isn’t technically ice cream.”
But I argue: words matter. If I hear “ice cream,” my tail wags. If I hear “frozen dessert,” my tail pauses. One sounds like summer, the other sounds like homework.
To test, I gave Mini Blue two bowls:
One labeled “Ice Cream” with mint chip.
One labeled “Frozen Dessert” with “vanilla-flavored frozen delight.”
They turned green (mint approval), then gray (confusion), then ate both anyway.
Conclusion: Mini Blue thinks frozen dessert is acceptable… but only if it’s free.
Ice Cream = happiness in a scoop.
Frozen Dessert = a suspicious stand-in.
Both are cold, both melt, both taste sweet…
But let’s be honest—if it’s not called ice cream, I’m reading the label twice.