Road Trip

Before we left, Pandy made a list.

It was titled “Road Trip Rules for a Smooth Ride.”
It was laminated.
There were bullet points.
There were sub-points.

It was doomed from the start.

Rule 1: No Snacking in the Backseat

This rule lasted 11 minutes.
I wasn’t even hungry. The chips just looked bored.
Mini Blue nodded supportively and handed me the bag.

We tried to be quiet, but crinkle science disagreed.

Rule 2: Driver Controls the Playlist

Technically, this worked—because Mini Blue hijacked the aux cord while Pandy was pumping gas.
For 23 minutes, we listened to whale songs, remixed with lo-fi beats.
I called it “aquatic inspiration.”
Pandy called it “concerning.”

Rule 3: Only One Coffee Stop

We stopped three times.
Mini Blue claimed it was for hydration.
I just needed to compare croissants regionally.

Pandy didn’t say anything…
He just sipped his tea louder.

Rule 4: No Getting Distracted by Giant Roadside Attractions

To which I say:

• How often do you see a 30-foot donut?

• What if it had emotional significance?

• It was haunted. I could tell.
  
  

Mini Blue posed for a photo. I emotionally bonded with it. Pandy updated the itinerary under protest.

Rule 5: Keep It Calm

Mini Blue: serene.
Pandy: trying.
Me: spotted a snack truck, screamed, caused minor chaos.
Worth it. 12/10 pretzel experience.

Final Thoughts

Rules are important.
Breaking them builds character.

Also… I left three cookie crumbs in the backseat.
Mini Blue said they were “souvenirs.”
Pandy said nothing, but the vacuum came out the moment we got home.