Laundry, again!

It starts with the rustle of fabric. A basket rolling into view.
The air smells like… lemons and danger.

It’s Laundry Day.
And if you’re a plushie, you know what that means:

• Sudden disappearances.

• The terrifying sock vortex.

• And the distant roar of the Whirlpool (which I’m 97% sure is a portal).

Tip #1: Identify Safe Zones Early

As soon as the laundry basket appears, dive for higher ground. Pandy prefers the bookshelf. Mini Blue hides in the fruit bowl.
I once tried the towel pile… which got scooped. I nearly got fabric-softened.

“Hide smart, not soft,” Pandy always says.

Tip #2: Don’t Volunteer to Help

It sounds noble. It sounds productive.
It sounds like a trap.

I once offered to help sort socks and lost track of my own paws. Found myself paired with a size 12 athletic crew and a glittery ankle sock.
Very uncomfortable.

Mini Blue says, “Just nod and vanish.”
Mini Blue is wise.

Tip #3: Be Wary of the Washing Machine

They say no plushie has entered the Whirlpool and returned fluffier.
I once got brushed by a damp hoodie on its way in and had flashbacks to the rinse cycle.
Pandy claims he heard it whisper, “Delicates go last…”
Never trust a machine that sorts things by temperature.

Tip #4: Sock Sorting is Emotional

Why are there always lonely socks?

Pandy says it’s part of life’s great mystery.
I say it’s because the dryer eats feelings. And fabric.
Mini Blue glows gray during sock pairing, which is how we know the heartbreak is real.

We always do a memorial stack of single socks at the end. With a teacup candle. For closure.

Tip #5: Reclaim the Routine

If you can’t escape Laundry Day… turn it into a plushie sport.

We now host the Sock Toss Invitational.
Scoring is based on style, spin, and how many socks you don’t accidentally wear.

Pandy keeps score.
Mini Blue is the judge.
I bring the snacks. (Only lost one pretzel to the dryer last time. RIP.)

Final Fluff

Laundry Day may be chaotic. It may smell like lavender betrayal.
But if you stay alert, dodge the Whirlpool, and never volunteer for sock duty…
you just might survive.

Fold strong. Hide fast. Hug the softest towel before the humans do.

– Doggie 🐶
Lint-Roll Ready, Doggie Unleashed