Plushquito?

1. The Night It All Began

We were sipping tea under the twinkle lights, enjoying a quiet patio evening. I was halfway through a cheese plate (don’t judge) when I felt it: the faint whiiiine of a mosquito. A battle cry, tiny but menacing.

Pandy didn’t even flinch. Mini Blue turned a faint purple (confusion? warning?). I, however, dove under the table.

2. The Plushie Problem

See, we’re soft. We’re fluffy. And apparently, mosquitos see us as giant walking buffets.
Do they even like stuffing? Are they biting for sport?
Pandy insists, “Doggie, they’re not here for you, you don’t have blood.”
“Then why do they itch so much, Pandy?”
He had no answer.

3. My Brilliant (and Flawed) Defense Plan

Step 1: Wrap myself entirely in netting.
Step 2: Hide in a pile of citronella candles.
Step 3: Cry dramatically into a bowl of hummus for emotional effect (optional).

Mini Blue turned green (probably amusement). Pandy just sipped his tea and said, “You’re going to smell like a salad.”

4. Victory? Or Just Surrender?

Eventually, Pandy brought out a big fan and placed it near me.
“The wind keeps them away,” he said calmly.
Mini Blue turned mint green (relief).
I emerged from my citronella cocoon, cheese plate in paw, and whispered:
“Fine, but I’m not coming out next summer without armor.”