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By Doggie (and a little bit by Pandy)
Look. I’m not saying I forgot sunscreen.
I’m saying I thought coconut lotion was sunscreen.
I smelled amazing and attractively snackable—but turns out, the sun doesn’t care how delicious you are. It will toast your fluff anyway.
Pandy, as always, had a plan. He rolled out his “SPF Strategy”—a spreadsheet, a three-tier application schedule, and what I thought was a marshmallow hat (spoiler: zinc-infused headwrap).
Meanwhile, Mini Blue tried to blend in with the aloe vera display and got lightly misted by a passing beachgoer. He claims he’s now 3% spa-grade hydration.
Here are Pandy’s actual skincare rules (follow them or be crisp like me):
SPF 50+ minimum – yes, plush counts as skin.
Reapply every 2 hours – snack breaks don’t count.
Seek shade – your fluff doesn’t have a repair function.
Hydrate – juice boxes and coconut water are fine. Avoid melted ice cream.
I contributed one rule:
“If it smells like vacation, it belongs on me.”
This rule was not approved.
Anyway, lesson learned:
Sun care is self care.
Snack-scented products are not multi-use.
And Pandy’s hat may look silly… but he still has his original fluff density.
Stay sun-safe and fluff-forward,
—Doggie ☀️🐶🥥