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Extra Toasty

Sunburnt, Not Stirred: Summer Skincare for Plushies

By Doggie (and a little bit by Pandy)

Look. I’m not saying I forgot sunscreen.
I’m saying I thought coconut lotion was sunscreen.
I smelled amazing and attractively snackable—but turns out, the sun doesn’t care how delicious you are. It will toast your fluff anyway.

Pandy, as always, had a plan. He rolled out his “SPF Strategy”—a spreadsheet, a three-tier application schedule, and what I thought was a marshmallow hat (spoiler: zinc-infused headwrap).

Meanwhile, Mini Blue tried to blend in with the aloe vera display and got lightly misted by a passing beachgoer. He claims he’s now 3% spa-grade hydration.

Here are Pandy’s actual skincare rules (follow them or be crisp like me):

SPF 50+ minimum – yes, plush counts as skin.
Reapply every 2 hours – snack breaks don’t count.
Seek shade – your fluff doesn’t have a repair function.
Hydrate – juice boxes and coconut water are fine. Avoid melted ice cream.

I contributed one rule:
“If it smells like vacation, it belongs on me.”
This rule was not approved.

Anyway, lesson learned:
Sun care is self care.
Snack-scented products are not multi-use.
And Pandy’s hat may look silly… but he still has his original fluff density.