April Fool's Survival

April 2

Hello everyone.

Against several odds, mild confusion, and one completely unnecessary fake meeting invitation, I am pleased to report that I survived April Fool’s Day.

It was not easy.

I began the day with confidence.
I told myself, “Doggie, you are alert. You are prepared. No one will fool you today.”

This was a mistake because overconfidence is the first banana peel of the mind.

The first incident happened at breakfast when I was informed there were “surprise pancakes.”
I was thrilled.
It turned out the surprise was that there were no pancakes.
Just eggs.

I would like it noted that this is not a prank.
This is betrayal.

Then Pandy told me very calmly that Mini Blue had been promoted and was now my manager.
I laughed at first.
Then Mini Blue was seated in a tiny chair with a little sign.
Then I stopped laughing.

For nearly eleven minutes I took direction from a very blue supervisor.

At one point I was also told:
the bakery had invented invisible pie,
naps were being discontinued,
and my red hoodie was now considered “business formal.”

Frankly, the entire day became a blur of emotional risk.

I tried to remain strong.
I tried to remain logical.
I even made a checklist titled:
HOW NOT TO BE FOOLED

1. Ask questions

2. Stay calm

3. Do not immediately trust exciting pastry news

4. Never again

Unfortunately, I failed at item three almost immediately.

By midafternoon I had been tricked into attending what I believed was a “very important executive snack briefing,” which was actually just Pandy watching me walk into the room wearing my CEO mug lanyard.

He said, “Doggie, why are you like this?”
And I said, “Because hope lives in me.”

Still, I endured.

I made it through false announcements.
I made it through suspicious compliments.
I made it through one deeply upsetting moment where I was told the blanket fort had been rezoned.

And now here I am.
Tired.
Wiser.
Slightly crumb-covered.
But unbroken.

So if you, too, survived April Fool’s Day, I see you.
If someone lied to you about snacks, I especially see you.
Healing takes time.

Today I will be resting, recovering, and only believing information that comes from trusted sources, written clearly, and preferably delivered with a pastry.

Warmly,
Doggie

Pandy’s Postscript:
For the record, no one forced him to wear the CEO mug lanyard. He made that himself.