Ground Rumblings

Hello.

I would like to file an official plushie complaint against the ground.

Very late last night, or very early this morning depending on how dramatic we are being, the entire world suddenly did a long, unsettling wiggle. Not a quick bump. Not a polite little shake. A full-bodied, extended no thank you.

At first I thought:
“Is someone moving furniture?”
Then I thought:
“Is this a very rude truck?”
Then I thought nothing at all because I was too busy becoming alarmed.

Pandy was calm in a way that felt almost suspicious.
Mini Blue became emotionally oval.

I do not enjoy when the floor reminds us it is technically not fixed in place.

There is something especially offensive about an earthquake that lasts long enough for you to have multiple thoughts during it.
A short one is bad enough.
But a long one?
A long one gives your imagination time to join the meeting.

I had enough time to consider:

1. grabbing Mini Blue

2. finding Pandy

3. wondering if the house was about to become abstract

4. regretting every moment I did not spend lying down more appreciatively

Afterward, we did what I believe all brave households do:
we stood there in the dark
looked at each other
and said some version of,
“...well that was unpleasant.”

I would now like the earth to go back to its usual arrangement:
still,
supportive,
and not making surprise announcements from below.

Anyway, we are okay.
A little rattled.
A little sleep-disrupted.
But okay.

Please keep your emergency kits updated, your snacks accessible, and your emotional support octopus nearby.

Warmly,
Doggie

Pandy’s Postscript:
He said “this is it” three times, and none of those times was it, in fact, it.